this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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