I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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