taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
