We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
