Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
