I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
