Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
