you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
