Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
