But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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