Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
