so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
