Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i love accidental penises.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
