There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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