Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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