We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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