How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
