he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
