he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
