I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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