Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
