i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
