My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
