we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
