its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
