ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
