My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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