I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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