The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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