Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
