So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
