I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
