That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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