im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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