The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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