my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
