Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
