so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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