thus making me awesome and them whores
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
