I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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