yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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