I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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