This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
