Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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