You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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