i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
