So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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