this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
