I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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