Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
