Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
only if we run a train.
done.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
