I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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